Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
