he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
