hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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