is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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