sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
