Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
