You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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