I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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