from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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