9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
