wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
