i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
