where am i from again
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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