Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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