So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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