Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I can't turn off my feet"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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