My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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