Where is the hickey?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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