didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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