It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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