I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
