Apparently you make a good broom.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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