Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
