If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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