i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
