I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
