Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize