i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
