pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
