omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
