Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I sprained my soul last night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dicks are not precious.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
