is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
