If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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