i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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