Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw a hot homeless man
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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