One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so let's talk penis.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
