mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
