My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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