The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
