Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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