If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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