You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
