all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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