Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
