I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so let's talk penis.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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