You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize