i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize