Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
True strength comes from lack of pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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