I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
