Whatcha textin bout Willis?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
