There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
