i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
