i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize