why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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