Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
