so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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