just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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