my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
