And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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