Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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