Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize