At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize