She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Plan B is the new Plan A
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
