Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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