During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
