You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
