Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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