I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
