you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
