you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
