i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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