maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
