I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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