With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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