Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
