no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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