he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize